Winners 8: Indiana, [editor's note] Lili's nickname is Wild Thing (earned after striking out the Bruiser), Bruiser, The Mick, Knees, Burma Girl
Losers 7: U-boat, Horfun, Kernel, Rugburn, H, The Red Cowboy
The best thing about the rain is that it kept the cricket players off the field – which leads to the question of why do cricket players have an aversion to water… hummmm. It also lubed the field up for a day of crazy sliding, muddy splashes, and dying groundballs. We actually had to switch balls because it was determined that the game ball was too damned heavy to hit – like swinging at a bowling ball with a whiffle ball bat.
Sticking to the trend of recent weeks, the winners broke out to a healthy lead during the first few innings, set up by some good hustle and small ball with Bruiser setting a fine tone, and highlighted by a powerful home run to the gap in right center by Knees. However, the Losers clawed their way back into the game with hard running, harder flopping in the mud, surprising speed by the Kernel, and a home run by rugburn that actually went over a fence way out in left field. The Mick backed up to the wall and could only watch helplessly as it soared majestically overhead. The Rube kindly offered to play full time, and did an excellent job at short, making some fine plays, and earning gold glove honors (against an admittedly weak field of competition). Horfun took advantage of the lack of respect the defense was showing her by punching a solid line drive into left field in a key at bat, and handcuffing a confused defense with 2 RBI infield single in the 9th (more about that later). The Mick and Red apparently were engaged in an intense personal battle to see who could make the most outs by hitting the ball right to an infielder: they both lost. Perhaps one of the veterans needs to step in and explain to them the rules and objective of play a little more clearly… Horfun is becoming like Chuck Knoblauch – only she got game. It is good to see her settling into her position, and her latino swagger starting to come to the fore. A kid like that can really bring energy to the clubhouse as the team goes down the stretch.
Overall, the game was ultimately defined by a number of close calls, brought on by muddy hustling, including some controversial ones, and oddly enough, really poor pitching. Was the Mick’s diving catch to end the 3rd inning with bases loaded legitimate or a trap? A number of people slid in just under tags (Kernel, Burma girl…) while others were tagged out trying to stretch another base (Kernel, the Mick – on a fantastic throw from big Red, and Uboat who inexplicably rolled off the base when he was safe, and pounced on the Mick only to get tagged out). There was a hit batter. Uboat managed to both light AND piss out the fires of a 9th inning rally. In the bottom of 9th, it was 8-5 game w/ runners on 2nd and 3rd. Horfun smacked a grounder to Indiana at first who picked it up and up and tossed over the U-boat covering first from the mound...who failed to turn around and catch the ball, allowing two runs to score. We can only assume that as a kid in NY he spent his summers at the Hideki Irabu camp for Hustle and Fielding Excellence. [www.iamafattoad.org.jp] With his defensive gaff putting him in the perfect situation to be the hero and win the game, U-boat weekly popped out to the pitcher for the final out.
Overall, it was a hard played game, and the weather did nothing to dampen the hardcore spirits of the SAS crew.
Oh yeah, Rugburn dropped yet another routine fly ball in left field, and had no one to blame this time around.
Game two started with several desertions, and after some discussion, Saturday softball fielded it first ever ‘all time’ outfield’, and called up numerous ghost runners from the minors. It seems that ‘ghost month’ is like September in MLB[editor's note] It is actually the 7th month of the lunar calender. This is when the gates of hell are opened and the spirits are let out to roam the earth according to ancient chinese beliefs. We had to call a Code Ten Abort (you need to check out the new Bourne flick to be hip with our lingo), due to disputes about both the location and nature of our supernatural supporting cast. They were accused of dogging it, difficult to see, and one side argued for the ghost of Ricky Past (Henderson) who could go first to third, while the other for the ghost of Ricky Present (who can’t get off his day bed). The game disintegrated under the weight of helpless confusion and flagging enthusiasm for the ‘new guys.’
MBP: Kernel for the Slides, and Horfun for the clutch hitting and solid D
Biggest Bat: Rugburn (WOW)
Goldern Glove: Rube
DT: Geok
Ozzie Smith: The Mick and the Red Cowboy
Notes:
The Mick needs a ghost batter…maybe his new eyes are so good he is seeing through the ball…
The Red Cowboy could not buy himself a break – all hard hit balls right to a fielder. Hey Red – white shorts on a rainy day. Yeah, not a good call. But the guy's got fire in his belly, and it is GREAT to see him becoming a regular.
H proved in the later innings that she is learning to go the other way (by hitting to left field – COME ON people, stay with me here!!!!)
After locking in her place at second base, Horfun was seen in practice trying to catch the ball while holding her glove in both hands like a basket. You pull that out in a game and your ass is going straight back to the minors, i don't care how much good press you got this week!
Burma Girl has just about perfected ‘the bounce’ – it is an inspiration to see how hard she goes into third, and viscerally sickening to watch as her body awkwardly slams into the ground, knees carving out deep divots, as her face smacks down on the bag just ahead of the tag. Safe? Maybe… Coach's advice for the week is to rent “La Marche De l’empereur” and see how the pros do it.
IMDB LINK
The secret is out – Brusier is using ‘Dapper Dan’ hair treatment. Too bad it does not come in dark brown...
It took Uboat a full hour to satisfy all of the autograph groupies that have been hounding him on this current home stand. Apparently he is big in Japan.
The Kernel has the perfect beer league softball physique, a veritable keg shaped Adonis. Serious students of Chinese medical science knows that is where he stores his ‘chi’ - a vital component for transcendental softball excellence.
How come no one ever comments on Indiana’s crazy rock and roll glasses? F**king groovie man.
When being interviewed about his ‘out of the park’ bomb, Rugburn offered the reporter a tube of something called ‘the clear’, saying it is good for building self esteem…
Comments ARE starting to come in about the road kill that has fastened itself onto the Rube’s face. Outstanding – and a further reminder of why the North won that last war…
Lili is starting to fatigue – Brusier needs to stop putting her through intensive ‘two a day’ softball training sessions at home.
People are whispering that maybe Magite was right to be worried about the flashlight that Knees keeps by the side of the bed… Well, she could always come back as a ghost runner...
Yeah, i should be working on tomorrow's lecture.
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