Winners: U-boat, Burma Girl, New John, Indiana, Rube, Gunz, H
Losers: Rube, Maglite, The Mick, Wayne pending nickname, Rugburn, Knees, The Red Cowboy
Crippled: Kernel
Game 1: 12-10
Game 2: 2-1
In game one, a big inning by the winners gave them a lead they would never relinquish. A combination of bloops and blasts got them through their lineup twice. H laced a triple down the right field line that the Kernel initially called foul. If not for her Keystone-cop speed, she might have had a home run. The winners also benefited from an "Ole!" by the Mick ending his run as Ozzie Smith, and a meltdown by Rube first. Unfortunately, with big innings, come big consequences. The Kernel came up lame and will be put down by Michael Vick.
In their failed attempt at a comeback, the losers were lead by the Red Cowboy who was crushing line drives, including one that easily cleared Rube in left. Knees and the Mick managed back to back triples and were a consistent source of baserunners, until they decided to start getting out every at bat. Rugburn launched two shots over the left fielder, both ending up as triples all but all was not well. A poor baserunning decision by Rugburn forced the Red Cowboy home where he was easily thrown-out.
Again, there were a number of noteworthy throw-outs on the basepaths. After a clean single to Knees in center, Gunz rounded first too wide and got picked off by a series of quick throws from Knees to the Mick to Rube. Also, Rugburn threw U-boat out at second when he had no business taking two. On another errant adventure, U-boat again was out at second with Rube quickly coming over from first to cover. And finally, to end the first game, Gunz threw out the Red Cowboy at first after a line drive to center! Perhaps the Red Cowboy needs a mathematician other than Wayne to guide him to first. Instead of the long parabola, a straight line might have been more appropriate.
Why did Derek Jeter (swallows) give Jessica Alba herpes? And where did he get it from? (answers to be provided next week)
Not that it won them the game but the losers turned three DPs while the winners got the pattened 1 - 8 - 3 DP...thats a grounder to DT on the mound, turns to Gunz covering second, and fires on the U-boat. Uboat booted a throw from newjohn on what should have been another fine double play. There are moments when it almost looks real out there. Ahhh, but they are fleeting.
DT was called in to pitch from about the 7th inning on and pitched the best relief since Pedro shut down the Indians for 6 perfect innings back in the day. His knuckle-slider-cutter is just plain nasty.
Geok, The Mick, and Rugburn are trying out for the New Al - catchers who make questionable efforts at the plate in the pursuit of victory. Thankfully, none of their efforts seemed to impact the outcome of the game.
Maglite felt up U-boat at first. She was out...but yet safe.
Did I mention that we had the best weather in forever? The second game lasted 5 innings. It was awesome.
MBP: DT & his knuckleball
Biggest Bat: New John
Gold Glove: H
Golden Gun: Gunz
DY: The Red Cowboy
After game activities included pizza and Tony Jaa at the Mick's. It seemed to be going well, and then it was over. Maybe the wine fairy would have helped. or just a healthy dose of porn?
The Names have been changed to Protect the Errorists
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Daytona!!!
After Sandman's wedding, we found a midnight arcade open, and they had Daytona...
Notice the faces change as the race progresses...
1st place... 27 secs left... but he chokes away the win.
Rugburn, the coach, helps Fakewife to a second place finish.
Party-Rambo Mick and his friend John
The Winners circle.. Fakewife, H, Rickey and The Mick
1st place, 40secs left... can he hang on to the lead?
Nope, evidently not. H takes the win. She is the Grand Champion
Foooosball.. To Spin or Not to Spin.. that is the question.
The first qualifier... The Fun Begins...
Notice the faces change as the race progresses...
1st place... 27 secs left... but he chokes away the win.
Second quaifier. The ladies round... (sorry Guppy)
Rugburn, the coach, helps Fakewife to a second place finish.
1st place.... And using a cell phone while driving... so many violations...
Party-Rambo Mick and his friend John
The Winners circle.. Fakewife, H, Rickey and The Mick
1st place, 40secs left... can he hang on to the lead?
Nope, evidently not. H takes the win. She is the Grand Champion
Foooosball.. To Spin or Not to Spin.. that is the question.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Quote of the Year
New guy walks into Joes. Looks around receives a warm welcome from the crowd.
New guy says to Red Cowboy, "I wanted to come today, but it was raining so I didn't think you guys would play."
Red Cowboy says "We play baseball, not cricket"
New guy says to Red Cowboy, "I wanted to come today, but it was raining so I didn't think you guys would play."
Red Cowboy says "We play baseball, not cricket"
Sunday, August 19, 2007
"The Midgets here must be pretty short" – The Kernel upon his arrive in Singapore
Winners 8: Indiana, [editor's note] Lili's nickname is Wild Thing (earned after striking out the Bruiser), Bruiser, The Mick, Knees, Burma Girl
Losers 7: U-boat, Horfun, Kernel, Rugburn, H, The Red Cowboy
The best thing about the rain is that it kept the cricket players off the field – which leads to the question of why do cricket players have an aversion to water… hummmm. It also lubed the field up for a day of crazy sliding, muddy splashes, and dying groundballs. We actually had to switch balls because it was determined that the game ball was too damned heavy to hit – like swinging at a bowling ball with a whiffle ball bat.
Sticking to the trend of recent weeks, the winners broke out to a healthy lead during the first few innings, set up by some good hustle and small ball with Bruiser setting a fine tone, and highlighted by a powerful home run to the gap in right center by Knees. However, the Losers clawed their way back into the game with hard running, harder flopping in the mud, surprising speed by the Kernel, and a home run by rugburn that actually went over a fence way out in left field. The Mick backed up to the wall and could only watch helplessly as it soared majestically overhead. The Rube kindly offered to play full time, and did an excellent job at short, making some fine plays, and earning gold glove honors (against an admittedly weak field of competition). Horfun took advantage of the lack of respect the defense was showing her by punching a solid line drive into left field in a key at bat, and handcuffing a confused defense with 2 RBI infield single in the 9th (more about that later). The Mick and Red apparently were engaged in an intense personal battle to see who could make the most outs by hitting the ball right to an infielder: they both lost. Perhaps one of the veterans needs to step in and explain to them the rules and objective of play a little more clearly… Horfun is becoming like Chuck Knoblauch – only she got game. It is good to see her settling into her position, and her latino swagger starting to come to the fore. A kid like that can really bring energy to the clubhouse as the team goes down the stretch.
Overall, the game was ultimately defined by a number of close calls, brought on by muddy hustling, including some controversial ones, and oddly enough, really poor pitching. Was the Mick’s diving catch to end the 3rd inning with bases loaded legitimate or a trap? A number of people slid in just under tags (Kernel, Burma girl…) while others were tagged out trying to stretch another base (Kernel, the Mick – on a fantastic throw from big Red, and Uboat who inexplicably rolled off the base when he was safe, and pounced on the Mick only to get tagged out). There was a hit batter. Uboat managed to both light AND piss out the fires of a 9th inning rally. In the bottom of 9th, it was 8-5 game w/ runners on 2nd and 3rd. Horfun smacked a grounder to Indiana at first who picked it up and up and tossed over the U-boat covering first from the mound...who failed to turn around and catch the ball, allowing two runs to score. We can only assume that as a kid in NY he spent his summers at the Hideki Irabu camp for Hustle and Fielding Excellence. [www.iamafattoad.org.jp] With his defensive gaff putting him in the perfect situation to be the hero and win the game, U-boat weekly popped out to the pitcher for the final out.
Overall, it was a hard played game, and the weather did nothing to dampen the hardcore spirits of the SAS crew.
Oh yeah, Rugburn dropped yet another routine fly ball in left field, and had no one to blame this time around.
Game two started with several desertions, and after some discussion, Saturday softball fielded it first ever ‘all time’ outfield’, and called up numerous ghost runners from the minors. It seems that ‘ghost month’ is like September in MLB[editor's note] It is actually the 7th month of the lunar calender. This is when the gates of hell are opened and the spirits are let out to roam the earth according to ancient chinese beliefs. We had to call a Code Ten Abort (you need to check out the new Bourne flick to be hip with our lingo), due to disputes about both the location and nature of our supernatural supporting cast. They were accused of dogging it, difficult to see, and one side argued for the ghost of Ricky Past (Henderson) who could go first to third, while the other for the ghost of Ricky Present (who can’t get off his day bed). The game disintegrated under the weight of helpless confusion and flagging enthusiasm for the ‘new guys.’
MBP: Kernel for the Slides, and Horfun for the clutch hitting and solid D
Biggest Bat: Rugburn (WOW)
Goldern Glove: Rube
DT: Geok
Ozzie Smith: The Mick and the Red Cowboy
Notes:
The Mick needs a ghost batter…maybe his new eyes are so good he is seeing through the ball…
The Red Cowboy could not buy himself a break – all hard hit balls right to a fielder. Hey Red – white shorts on a rainy day. Yeah, not a good call. But the guy's got fire in his belly, and it is GREAT to see him becoming a regular.
H proved in the later innings that she is learning to go the other way (by hitting to left field – COME ON people, stay with me here!!!!)
After locking in her place at second base, Horfun was seen in practice trying to catch the ball while holding her glove in both hands like a basket. You pull that out in a game and your ass is going straight back to the minors, i don't care how much good press you got this week!
Burma Girl has just about perfected ‘the bounce’ – it is an inspiration to see how hard she goes into third, and viscerally sickening to watch as her body awkwardly slams into the ground, knees carving out deep divots, as her face smacks down on the bag just ahead of the tag. Safe? Maybe… Coach's advice for the week is to rent “La Marche De l’empereur” and see how the pros do it.
IMDB LINK
The secret is out – Brusier is using ‘Dapper Dan’ hair treatment. Too bad it does not come in dark brown...
It took Uboat a full hour to satisfy all of the autograph groupies that have been hounding him on this current home stand. Apparently he is big in Japan.
The Kernel has the perfect beer league softball physique, a veritable keg shaped Adonis. Serious students of Chinese medical science knows that is where he stores his ‘chi’ - a vital component for transcendental softball excellence.
How come no one ever comments on Indiana’s crazy rock and roll glasses? F**king groovie man.
When being interviewed about his ‘out of the park’ bomb, Rugburn offered the reporter a tube of something called ‘the clear’, saying it is good for building self esteem…
Comments ARE starting to come in about the road kill that has fastened itself onto the Rube’s face. Outstanding – and a further reminder of why the North won that last war…
Lili is starting to fatigue – Brusier needs to stop putting her through intensive ‘two a day’ softball training sessions at home.
People are whispering that maybe Magite was right to be worried about the flashlight that Knees keeps by the side of the bed… Well, she could always come back as a ghost runner...
Yeah, i should be working on tomorrow's lecture.
Losers 7: U-boat, Horfun, Kernel, Rugburn, H, The Red Cowboy
The best thing about the rain is that it kept the cricket players off the field – which leads to the question of why do cricket players have an aversion to water… hummmm. It also lubed the field up for a day of crazy sliding, muddy splashes, and dying groundballs. We actually had to switch balls because it was determined that the game ball was too damned heavy to hit – like swinging at a bowling ball with a whiffle ball bat.
Sticking to the trend of recent weeks, the winners broke out to a healthy lead during the first few innings, set up by some good hustle and small ball with Bruiser setting a fine tone, and highlighted by a powerful home run to the gap in right center by Knees. However, the Losers clawed their way back into the game with hard running, harder flopping in the mud, surprising speed by the Kernel, and a home run by rugburn that actually went over a fence way out in left field. The Mick backed up to the wall and could only watch helplessly as it soared majestically overhead. The Rube kindly offered to play full time, and did an excellent job at short, making some fine plays, and earning gold glove honors (against an admittedly weak field of competition). Horfun took advantage of the lack of respect the defense was showing her by punching a solid line drive into left field in a key at bat, and handcuffing a confused defense with 2 RBI infield single in the 9th (more about that later). The Mick and Red apparently were engaged in an intense personal battle to see who could make the most outs by hitting the ball right to an infielder: they both lost. Perhaps one of the veterans needs to step in and explain to them the rules and objective of play a little more clearly… Horfun is becoming like Chuck Knoblauch – only she got game. It is good to see her settling into her position, and her latino swagger starting to come to the fore. A kid like that can really bring energy to the clubhouse as the team goes down the stretch.
Overall, the game was ultimately defined by a number of close calls, brought on by muddy hustling, including some controversial ones, and oddly enough, really poor pitching. Was the Mick’s diving catch to end the 3rd inning with bases loaded legitimate or a trap? A number of people slid in just under tags (Kernel, Burma girl…) while others were tagged out trying to stretch another base (Kernel, the Mick – on a fantastic throw from big Red, and Uboat who inexplicably rolled off the base when he was safe, and pounced on the Mick only to get tagged out). There was a hit batter. Uboat managed to both light AND piss out the fires of a 9th inning rally. In the bottom of 9th, it was 8-5 game w/ runners on 2nd and 3rd. Horfun smacked a grounder to Indiana at first who picked it up and up and tossed over the U-boat covering first from the mound...who failed to turn around and catch the ball, allowing two runs to score. We can only assume that as a kid in NY he spent his summers at the Hideki Irabu camp for Hustle and Fielding Excellence. [www.iamafattoad.org.jp] With his defensive gaff putting him in the perfect situation to be the hero and win the game, U-boat weekly popped out to the pitcher for the final out.
Overall, it was a hard played game, and the weather did nothing to dampen the hardcore spirits of the SAS crew.
Oh yeah, Rugburn dropped yet another routine fly ball in left field, and had no one to blame this time around.
Game two started with several desertions, and after some discussion, Saturday softball fielded it first ever ‘all time’ outfield’, and called up numerous ghost runners from the minors. It seems that ‘ghost month’ is like September in MLB[editor's note] It is actually the 7th month of the lunar calender. This is when the gates of hell are opened and the spirits are let out to roam the earth according to ancient chinese beliefs. We had to call a Code Ten Abort (you need to check out the new Bourne flick to be hip with our lingo), due to disputes about both the location and nature of our supernatural supporting cast. They were accused of dogging it, difficult to see, and one side argued for the ghost of Ricky Past (Henderson) who could go first to third, while the other for the ghost of Ricky Present (who can’t get off his day bed). The game disintegrated under the weight of helpless confusion and flagging enthusiasm for the ‘new guys.’
MBP: Kernel for the Slides, and Horfun for the clutch hitting and solid D
Biggest Bat: Rugburn (WOW)
Goldern Glove: Rube
DT: Geok
Ozzie Smith: The Mick and the Red Cowboy
Notes:
The Mick needs a ghost batter…maybe his new eyes are so good he is seeing through the ball…
The Red Cowboy could not buy himself a break – all hard hit balls right to a fielder. Hey Red – white shorts on a rainy day. Yeah, not a good call. But the guy's got fire in his belly, and it is GREAT to see him becoming a regular.
H proved in the later innings that she is learning to go the other way (by hitting to left field – COME ON people, stay with me here!!!!)
After locking in her place at second base, Horfun was seen in practice trying to catch the ball while holding her glove in both hands like a basket. You pull that out in a game and your ass is going straight back to the minors, i don't care how much good press you got this week!
Burma Girl has just about perfected ‘the bounce’ – it is an inspiration to see how hard she goes into third, and viscerally sickening to watch as her body awkwardly slams into the ground, knees carving out deep divots, as her face smacks down on the bag just ahead of the tag. Safe? Maybe… Coach's advice for the week is to rent “La Marche De l’empereur” and see how the pros do it.
IMDB LINK
The secret is out – Brusier is using ‘Dapper Dan’ hair treatment. Too bad it does not come in dark brown...
It took Uboat a full hour to satisfy all of the autograph groupies that have been hounding him on this current home stand. Apparently he is big in Japan.
The Kernel has the perfect beer league softball physique, a veritable keg shaped Adonis. Serious students of Chinese medical science knows that is where he stores his ‘chi’ - a vital component for transcendental softball excellence.
How come no one ever comments on Indiana’s crazy rock and roll glasses? F**king groovie man.
When being interviewed about his ‘out of the park’ bomb, Rugburn offered the reporter a tube of something called ‘the clear’, saying it is good for building self esteem…
Comments ARE starting to come in about the road kill that has fastened itself onto the Rube’s face. Outstanding – and a further reminder of why the North won that last war…
Lili is starting to fatigue – Brusier needs to stop putting her through intensive ‘two a day’ softball training sessions at home.
People are whispering that maybe Magite was right to be worried about the flashlight that Knees keeps by the side of the bed… Well, she could always come back as a ghost runner...
Yeah, i should be working on tomorrow's lecture.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
The Red Cowboy Rides Again!
Winners 13 (Maglite 4, The Mick 6, Horfun 5, Rugburn 7, Knees 8, Red 9)
Losers 12 (Indiana 3, Burma Girl 4, Bruiser 6, U-boat5, Cool Papa 7, H 9)
(All time Rube 3 & 8)
U-boat may or may not have a 16 year old bride in the heart of darkness. It was a dark and stormy night. Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Lone gunman? Grassy knoll? Back and to the left, back and to the left...
Stay on target. Fake wife brought the bat. Game on.
It was hot. The field was hard. Our heads throbbed.
And out of the swirling dust rode the Red Cowboy. He did stuff.
We set up the field, braved the elements, and began what turned out to be a competitive game, in spite of the frisbo fellas and the crew of crazy cricketting fellas loitering in the field. Yep, this is the direction we are going in.
The Winners jumped out quick on some fine hitting by Maglite and Knees, who laced a hard line drive over Rube's head for a base clearing home run. Then the game settled into a defensive display, with double plays, fine catches in the outfield, and a one-time-only all-star performance by The Mick at short. He was the white Ozzy Smith - making all sorts of defensive plays while meekly grounding out every at bat.
Aggressive base-running led to some fine throw outs: Rugburn gunned down H trying to go first to third; Uboat and the Rube connected to nail Horfun, also at third. Bad day for chinese girls.
Karma finally reared its ugly head as the Rube caught a poor throw by Rugburn in the throat, which momentarily rendered him speechless. The resident medical committee, consisting entirely of doctors of non-medicine, determined that chewing tobacco and softball don't mix. This ain't the big leagues. A frustrated Papa delivered a 'ricky' and rocked one off the Mick's shin. Both had it coming.
The losers proved their lack of class by attacking the new guy, unaware that he is actually The Red Cowboy, and had a son who played in the NHL. While his bat might have cooled down, Big Red made a few fine catches in the outfield, and has proven to be a fine addition to the gang.
Oh yeah, the losers tried to crawl back into the game with an 8th inning rally. As the name implied, they failed. History is written by the winners, bitches.
Points of note:
Uboat is a defensive wiz when girls hit soft line drives right at him.
Clay NEVER looks like he is actually going to catch the ball.
Paying attention to the warning terrorist warning videos in the MRT, Bruiser immediately responded when a suspicious looking fella left a black bag in left field.
Maglite is becoming a fine second basewoman, assuming positioning and cheery demeanor are not required.
Rugburn dropped a routine pop fly, and tried to blame it on the cricket players. We can't remember anything else he did today.
Indiana is very excited about the arrival of the Red Cowboy - now has someone to reminsce about the Revolutionary war. It is good that those who were once enemies can enjoy a fine game of softball together. The red coats have arrived.
H is clearly hooking up with a rich rich man (NOTE THE MERCEDES SHE ROLLS IN) -->[editor's note]It's her real daddy, and not a sugar daddy. Sugar daddy drives a Porsche
Cool Papa was not getting a lot of action in left field - we hope this changes for all of us once his gig at Chijmes begins.
New eyes make the Mick a new man, but he sure can't hit.
Horfun showed up with a stolen car. Never saw that coming
Awards:
MBP: DT - cause he never gives himself the belt.
Biggest Bat: Knees
Gold Glove: The Mick
Best after game outfit: The Red Cowboy
DY: Knees
Kindly posted by Horfun w/ assists going to The Mick, U-boat, and Rugburn
[Editor's questions] Has the Uboat finally returned? We all thought he retired after that display of incredible offensive prowess several weeks ago when he hit for the cycle and ran like someone offered him a job.
[Editor's note] For those less baseball/softball savvy of readers...
1 - Pitcher, 2 - Catcher, 3 - 1st Baseman, 4 - 2nd Baseman, 5 - 3rd Baseman, 6 - Shortstop, 7 - Left fielder, 8 - Center fielder, 9 - Right fielder
You can also hit this Link for more information
Losers 12 (Indiana 3, Burma Girl 4, Bruiser 6, U-boat5, Cool Papa 7, H 9)
(All time Rube 3 & 8)
U-boat may or may not have a 16 year old bride in the heart of darkness. It was a dark and stormy night. Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Lone gunman? Grassy knoll? Back and to the left, back and to the left...
Stay on target. Fake wife brought the bat. Game on.
It was hot. The field was hard. Our heads throbbed.
And out of the swirling dust rode the Red Cowboy. He did stuff.
We set up the field, braved the elements, and began what turned out to be a competitive game, in spite of the frisbo fellas and the crew of crazy cricketting fellas loitering in the field. Yep, this is the direction we are going in.
The Winners jumped out quick on some fine hitting by Maglite and Knees, who laced a hard line drive over Rube's head for a base clearing home run. Then the game settled into a defensive display, with double plays, fine catches in the outfield, and a one-time-only all-star performance by The Mick at short. He was the white Ozzy Smith - making all sorts of defensive plays while meekly grounding out every at bat.
Aggressive base-running led to some fine throw outs: Rugburn gunned down H trying to go first to third; Uboat and the Rube connected to nail Horfun, also at third. Bad day for chinese girls.
Karma finally reared its ugly head as the Rube caught a poor throw by Rugburn in the throat, which momentarily rendered him speechless. The resident medical committee, consisting entirely of doctors of non-medicine, determined that chewing tobacco and softball don't mix. This ain't the big leagues. A frustrated Papa delivered a 'ricky' and rocked one off the Mick's shin. Both had it coming.
The losers proved their lack of class by attacking the new guy, unaware that he is actually The Red Cowboy, and had a son who played in the NHL. While his bat might have cooled down, Big Red made a few fine catches in the outfield, and has proven to be a fine addition to the gang.
Oh yeah, the losers tried to crawl back into the game with an 8th inning rally. As the name implied, they failed. History is written by the winners, bitches.
Points of note:
Uboat is a defensive wiz when girls hit soft line drives right at him.
Clay NEVER looks like he is actually going to catch the ball.
Paying attention to the warning terrorist warning videos in the MRT, Bruiser immediately responded when a suspicious looking fella left a black bag in left field.
Maglite is becoming a fine second basewoman, assuming positioning and cheery demeanor are not required.
Rugburn dropped a routine pop fly, and tried to blame it on the cricket players. We can't remember anything else he did today.
Indiana is very excited about the arrival of the Red Cowboy - now has someone to reminsce about the Revolutionary war. It is good that those who were once enemies can enjoy a fine game of softball together. The red coats have arrived.
H is clearly hooking up with a rich rich man (NOTE THE MERCEDES SHE ROLLS IN) -->[editor's note]It's her real daddy, and not a sugar daddy. Sugar daddy drives a Porsche
Cool Papa was not getting a lot of action in left field - we hope this changes for all of us once his gig at Chijmes begins.
New eyes make the Mick a new man, but he sure can't hit.
Horfun showed up with a stolen car. Never saw that coming
Awards:
MBP: DT - cause he never gives himself the belt.
Biggest Bat: Knees
Gold Glove: The Mick
Best after game outfit: The Red Cowboy
DY: Knees
Kindly posted by Horfun w/ assists going to The Mick, U-boat, and Rugburn
[Editor's questions] Has the Uboat finally returned? We all thought he retired after that display of incredible offensive prowess several weeks ago when he hit for the cycle and ran like someone offered him a job.
[Editor's note] For those less baseball/softball savvy of readers...
1 - Pitcher, 2 - Catcher, 3 - 1st Baseman, 4 - 2nd Baseman, 5 - 3rd Baseman, 6 - Shortstop, 7 - Left fielder, 8 - Center fielder, 9 - Right fielder
You can also hit this Link for more information
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
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