13 May 2006 - WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY BIG STICK

This weekends game was another for the classics. It had drama, suspense,
alcohol, new recruits and also really heavy bats

First of all, due to the pilgrimage of DT, Rickey, Generallismo and Heidi to
the land of Lechon, San Miguel, we were a little short but went ahead to
play a 10 person game.
I hope that they represented the team well in the friendly with Mart's team
and also aided the Phillipine economy by eating lots of BBQ and quaffing San
Miguels!! I heard the Philipine Heart Center was offereing two for one
angioplasties in honour of you guys!!

The ten person game was the first debut of the 'Miksic Rules'. All field
open, three infielders and two outfielders. However the dreaded cones were
used to compress the field away from the corners. Made for some big hits
right down center field


This game was also one of the longest 9 inning games ever, it took a full
2:15 hours to play the game. It seemed like the game would go one forever.
The ones came from 6 runs behind to win the game in the bottom of the
ninth!! FInal score was like 18-17.

Playing with John's bats from the 1900's, many of us struggled to swing the
bat These bats are 33% heavier than our usual bats . It was like swinging a
club. Felt like my old days clubbing seals on the ice of Newfoundland.
Needless to say the seal struck back and I and two other were charged with
strikeout jugs. Three jugs made for a good day at Joes


Also the two new guys

Clement who if not for the superb scouting, fielding of Patrick, would have
made the best hitting debut of any rookie in softball history. This Frenchie
made solid contact from the get go but was robbed 5 consecutive times from
the Mick

Sam, The Kimchi kid who was a friend brought in by Ingvild the German. Sam
had played many years ago in Korea and you could see skills getting
refreshed


MBP: the MICK, his clutch base hits and fielding kept the ones in the game
Gold GLOVE: The Mick
Drama Mama: The Swiss Miss, who is starting to learn how to trash talk with
the Mick

Contributed by Guppy

13 May 2006 - By Bertrand

Each and everyone (2 friends of mine) were watching the rain falling at noon just before the game, thinking: it is going to be a sliding day.

And without any surprise the field was soggy when all the players finally came. The teams were small but thanks to Coach's idea of narrowing the field with highway cones, we managed to play. The game was a pretty close one with lots of missed catch (especially me…). Swiss miss (I guess I will have to stick with that name now… sigh) literally schooled Patrick hitting the ball over his head, allowing him to reach third base. Patrick certainly didn't like to be played like this and made his mission to overpass the Swiss miss, with eventual success. The battle had begun with a large advantage to the Yankee.

A new recruit has joined our team in the person of Clement, a French guy colleague of the swiss miss. As a total rookie, he managed to hit beautiful swings unfortunately frequently caught by the strong outfielders, and did some good runs too. He really seems to be a promising player, with strong batting potential. So let's give him some time to familiarize with the rules, but I think he will be more than welcome by everyone for Saturday softball. He did strike out and paid his due, so how could he be less integrated?

The rest of the game was a vast variety of missed catches, photogenic slides by Ingo and Patrick, and Rube's rages at bat. Ingo may now be referred to as "da pig" for his close relation to the mud (blame Rube :-p, I won't go easy on the nicknames now…).

The game ended with a three strikeout count, eventually converted to beer jugs at Joe's.

Contributed by Bertrand

13 May 2006 - Indiana Rules

After a downpour that threatened the game in the early afternoon, Guppy and Horfun arrived at 2.30pm to a nice, soft and EMPTY field with a cloudy sky, the perfect day for a game, except, a minor problem—there was just Guppy and Horfun, sans bats, bases and balls. However, at 3.15pm, we were rescued by Indiana and Geok who showed up not only with the equipment, but another new set of rules. (what's with archaeologists and softball rules? By the way, we think he came PREPARED and was musing on this for a long while—the cones miraculously came along with the bases and bats) The deal is, we play 3 infield and 2 outfield in a very small outfield, without double or nothing, or Prof Zen rules. Basically, the foul lines were brought in.

ONES:
1B: Guppy, 2B: Horfun, 3B/SS: Dieter, OF: The Mick, Ted
TWOs:
1B: Rube/Indiana, 2B: Burma girl/Kimchii kid (TNG1)/Swiss Miss, 3B/SS: Indiana/Burma girl, OF: Swiss Miss/Rube/Kimchii kid (TNG1) C: French dude (TNG2)

ONES 22 : TWOS 22

Highlights:
1) Strike out day—we had 3 strike-out jugs from the new French dude, Burma girl and Guppy. 2) The Mick has been turning single base hits into triples by aggressive base-running. 3) The ONES were supposed to have won, but I suspect Horfun's counting went wrong somewhere, hence, the teams actually tied, as you can see from the score table. (the ONES thought they were down by 5 runs, and hence, when the 6th run came in, the game ended) 4) Guppy has been displaying some amount of aggressive base-running, stealing bases when fielders aren't looking. 5) The Swiss Miss, Dieter and the Mick had the "cleanest" clothes at the end of the game. 6) Indiana showed up with funky new glasses. That must be the reason why he beaned Horfun at the back of her head with a throw—partially obscured vision created by the funky shaped lens. 7) New French dude has a good bat—first time he is playing, and he had 3 solid hits out of 5 pitches, though they all miraculously found their way into the Mick's glove. He was so good that he was subject to strike-out jug rules, even for a rookie. 8) Kimchii dude has a good bat too, think he got on base every time except once.

Drama Mama: Swiss Miss
MBP: The Mick—a combination of offensive and defensive power, in midst of a bout of laughing hysteria.
Bonehead: Horfun—History majors can't count, period.

Contributed by Horfun In

13 May - Ball, Butuan-style

Tigers: 1B: Heidi; 2B: Rickey/Bizarro Rickey; 3B: The Jaguar; SS: DT; LF: Ferdie; CF: Contrary aka Fake Steve; RF: Bags
The Butuan Sluggers

Game One:
Tigers: 8
Sluggers: 1

Dude, this one was sweet. We played at the Butuan, Philippines Athletic Park against the local team, the Sluggers. They've even got a permanent sign (we got no sign!!) announcing that it is their home. They've got ladies who keep the score sheet in during the games. They've got a former national pitcher (who pitched for us). The game occurred after a long training period on the beaches of Panglao and an overnight ferry trip. Wearing our new jerseys we took the field and played a game of fast pitch softball.

Some basic notes in an exciting game. Rickey met his opposite. He is "wiry", bends at the knees, participates in every play and is energetic. After Rickey messed up some plays at 2B, Bizarro Rickey took over and Rickey became DH. The first screw up was partially due to DT. Someone stole 2B and Rickey went to cover. DT ran at 2B too scaring off Rickey. Second time Rickey was totally at fault. Got in the way of a sweet (chocolateh sweet) double play. After that, Rickey pulled himself due to his fear of burning his sensitive skin. The Jaguar (especially), Contrary and Heidi were excellent in the field.

At the plate, Contrary had a nice 3-rbi triple. Rickey's OBPS was .600. He even advanced a base two times without challenge, was in the process of stealing another that developed into a hit-and-run with the Jaguar, scored 2 runs and hit a boomer that was stolen (Willie Mays-style) in RF. Bags got hit twice by a pitch. He must owe someone money. Heidi got hit once too. Contrary's bro-in-law (Ferdie) busted open the game with a grand slam inside-the-park homer in the 1st inning. All else was fine after that.

After the game we ate at True Brew, Contrary's restaurant/coffehouse. Excellent (no joking) food and drinks.

PS: Note from trip. If you are ever signed up for the Amazing Race, get DT to be your partner. He's got major travelling skills.

DT Rants... while watching the elections

Fabulous game today, nicely wet and slimy. Weather held with a gentle breeze blowing across the field. The field had wet spots in areas, but the base paths were dry. The outfield was dodgy, and anything that hit the ground would stop dead. We even used our favourite small, live ball but it did not get very far on the ground. New Kyle was hitting the stuffing out of the ball though, and he single-handedly carried the TWOs. Guppy brought out his boss, Jeff, who we hope will see making repeat appearances since he's been assigned to Singapore. I think he's a keeper. He beat the shit out of the ball as well, and he showed some nifty glove and footwork to appear out of the blue to reel in gappers.

Guppy was showing a gold glove at first base. He made NO errors, and did not drop ANY balls thrown to him. In the last 9 years I've played with Gup, I've NEVER seen that happen... on ANY GIVEN DAY.... It was amazing. All credit to him trying to show off to his boss. And right beside him, Horfun had a gold glove at second base too. She even dived AND stopped AND threw out the batter. It was a play worthy of The Big Show. She was a Hoover at second, nothing got by her. And she hit for power as well. Definitely worthy of MBP...

Rickey, Generalissimo, H and I will be heading for the Philippines this week. We're going to be representing SAS to play the locals from Martin the Contrary's adopted town in Butuan. We'll blog that game, and I've asked several guest bloggers to write about the game in singapore. If anyone wants to volunteer as well (I always welcome more contributors to talk about different sides of the game), please email me your write up at 'saturdaysoftball AT gmail.com'

See you in two weeks.

6 May 2006 - Spicy Horfun

ONES: P: Albert; C: Seven/Jason; 1B: Guppy; 2B: Horfun; 3B: The Generalissimo; SS: Sandman; LF: Jason/Seven; CF: Jeff the Boss; RF: Rugburn; Rover: WeiXiong
TWOS: P: Rickey; 1B: Kyle II; 2B: Diana; 3B: Swiss Miss; SS: DT; LF: Heidi; CF: Say Hey Kid; RF: Rube; Rover: Dieter

Game 1: (not sure of the score in Game 1, but something like...)
ONES: 18
TWOS: 14

GAME 2: (5 innings)
ONES: 11
TWOS: 10

Good weather and a great turnout. The newbies continue to show up and impress. It was good to see WeiXiong back. He still talks too much, but we'll take him. The story of the day was that iron curtain the ONES had on the right side of the infield. Guppy and Horfun were amazing. Whatever they ate for breakfast, we all should get some. Clutch hits, great stops, and solid all-around performance. Even Rube was getting frustrated with Horfun's amazing ability to stop his hits. The ONES were also helped by Albert's excellent pitching. In Game 1, the TWOS took an early lead but the ONES came on late in the game and just took complete control. They scored a lot of their runs with 2 outs, and the TWOS helped them with a lot of 1-2-3 innings when they were up. In Game 2, the ONES took an early lead but the TWOS came roaring back and got a 2-run lead in the top of the 9th. But, the ONES amazingly consistent line drives and base-running just meant another win.

NOTES:
1) Swiss Miss is starting to hit for power. Good day at 3B too; 2) Rugburn has an impressive arm and good bat; 3) Jeff the Boss had some impressive hits too; 4) A number of people appear to have purchased Rickey's instructional video on how to hit high, useless fly balls; 5) Story of the day still revolves around Guppy and Horfun. Amazing day for both.

MBP: Horfun
Gold Glove: Guppy
Best Bat: Rugburn
DY: Swiss Miss
Drama Mama: Seven

Superman Returns

And thank god it's not being played by Nicolas Cage...

Two trailers.

trailer 1
trailer 2

oh...to be 13 again

This is old news, but I never got around to it.
Seems this 'older' teacher had sex with her 13 year old student.
Her name: Pamela Rogers

oh give me a break.... have you seen her picture? my god, I bet the student was begging for it. She should be rewarded for giving the guy a chance to hump such a hottie, not incarcerated...

1 May 2006 - This is my house, I built this house

ONES: 1B: Heidi; 2B: Guppy; 3B: Rickey; LF: The Mick; CF: Nigey-pooh; RF: Seven
TWOS: Lloyd and his (not so) younger guys, including Shawn, TH, Nikhil, and the Swiss Miss.
* The Generalisimo played all time. He was SS for the ONES and 3B for the TWOS

ONES: 23
TWOS: 16
Game called in the 8th inning due to rain.

The early part of the game was really hot. The ONES got off to a nice lead, but then age hit them. The TWOS came back and took a 4-run lead. But, in the 7th, the ONES came roaring back with a 11-run inning. The game was called due to rain, which we literally could hear coming (it was hitting the roof of the Science Faculty).

NOTES:
1) Rickey was the anti-DY. In the key 7th inning, he screwed up two plays when the ball was hit to him. Rickey apologizes; 2) Lloyd's boys have got major arms. They can throw; 3) Shawn needs to work on that swing. He struck out in the ugliest fashion imaginable (losing the bat); 4) With the Boom Brothers hitting back-to-back, at times the ONES offense was definitely station-to-station; 5) Nigey-pooh and the Mick in the outfield: "It's all about the hustle".

MBP: No one
Biggest Bat: Heidi
Best 'stache: The Adam Morrison look-alike on Lloyd's team
Best "Hustle" Nigey-pooh and the Mick (tie)
Anti-DY: Rickey
DY: Swiss Miss

DT Rants... From KL

Sounds like a fantastic game you guys had. I wish I were there. I would've paid good money to see H snag Seven's liner. Looks like his wife isn't the only one who has his balls in a vice.

Should've burnt those cricket stumps to keep the benches warm.

Two weeks in a row with full teams brings warmth to my heart and tears to my eyes. Hope you guys get a great game on Monday as well. I'm sorry I'm gonna miss it.

Seeya on May 6th. For those Singaporeans, voting is not a good excuse to miss ball.

1 May 2006: Yes, there will be ball

Hey All:
On Monday, 1 May 2006 we'll be playing ball. Meet at the usual place in the morning. we start playing at 10:00.

Rickey

29 April 2006 - No Mercy

ONES: P: Rickey/Seven; C: Horfun; 1B: Kyle II; 2B: Jew-fro/Rickey; 3B: The Generalissimo; SS: Clement; LF: Male Jo; CF: Say Hey Kid; Rover: Rickey/Seven/Jew-fro; RF: Nigey-pooh
TWOS: P: Indiana; C: Swiss Miss; 1B: Heidi; 2B: Burma Girl; 3B: Gil the Gazelle; SS; Albert; LF: Melson; CF: Rube; Rover: New Guy (Wei) RF: The Cheetah

ONES: 22
TWOS: 24

This was a great game. There was a massive thunderstorm in the early afternoon, which scared off the cricket players, who had the field marked out. When we took the field we played near the cricket pitch (removing their stumps, etc. to place our bags. Indiana said something about using the wood for a BBQ). We then played. After the 4th inning we had to shift the bases due to a mud pit at home, but it only helped a little. The TWOS took massive leads throughout the game. Once they had the TWOS at mercy, but the Say Hey Kid scored to send it to another inning. Finally, in the 7th, the ONES came storming back and got the score to 17-16, but just couldn't tie it, due to an amazing snag by Heidi, who caught a scorching line drive that was already past her (Seven hit the ball). The TWOS had an eight-run lead in the ninth. It could have been more, but the Say Hey Kid caught a ball that was uncatchable (Indiana hit it). It was caught at full run with the glove scrapping the ground. In the bottom of the 9th the ONES were down by 8 but there was a comeback (almost) for the ages. The first three batters (Male Jo, Nigey-pooh, and The Generalissimo) hit solo homers. Seven and Kyle II followed with triples, and then Rickey hit a double. 5 runs scored, no one out. But, the ONES settled down. Only Rickey scored before they shut the TWOS down.

NOTES: 1) Good to see the Monfort Men. They played well; 2) With the wet field, there was lots of sliding. Of course, The Cheetah had a nice one. But, the best was Heidi bringing up a huge spray at 2B. Clement will be spitting mud for days; 3) The Say Hey Kid had some great catches out there; 4) Nigey-pooh's 9th inning homer was huge. Longest I've ever seen him hit.; 5) Bar tab at Joe's was $205

MBP: Gil the Gazelle
Gold Glove: Say Hey Kid
Biggest Bat: Rube
Drama Mama: Nigey-pooh
Best Slide: Heidi

Say Hello to......

Oscar Luigi Bazylewich

The Note from 'Dad' Martin 'Contrary' Bazylewich

Hey Everybody!

Well, there is a new "little contrary" in the world who will soon be raising a racket on and off the ball field. Oscar Luigi Bazylewich was born on April 22 at 3.53pm and weighed in at 6.6lbs even. He should make a fine 3rd baseman if he's able to get in front of the ball better than his Dad and learns to make the throw to first more accurately than the aforementioned.

Emely is recovering nicely after 22 hours in labor --- yes, 22 hours. Seems like Oscar didn't mind the close quarters so the doctors went ahead with a C-section in the end. We're all at home now and all is well.

Looking forward to seeing some of you this May for the big ball tour to the southern Philippines. I'm making my way down to the tailor this week to see about touring jersey's. If I can get them done in time I'm pretty sure Rickey will even look more svelt when diving for the ball and turning two in one of his many day-dreams while pretending to do research at NUS. Ha Ha Ha! Those I don't see on this trip I'm sure to see next time I make a visa run to Singapore.

I'm attaching a MS word document called Oscar Luigi Bazylewich [2] that contains some captions and pictures. Hope you all enjoy! Also, Chris, our resident blogmaster, could you please forward this email on to those I've forgotten to include in the list, especially guys like Marvin who's email is now different. Thanks.

Take er easy all!

Martin

DT Rants... about Rules

Not much to rant about today. The cricketeers took the field away from us so we had to move to our secondary field. Parts of it were water-logged due to the horrible drainage and clay covered pitch, but after some scouting by Rube and myself, we managed to find a semi-decent place to make our diamond. The rubber bases that Indiana usually carries would have been a welcome addition to the game, because the foam cushions that we usually use turned the colour of mud within 2 innings. It didn't help that everyone was hitting well and getting around the bags, turning the cotton covers into mush. Numbers were terrific. We had two full teams and that hasn't been seen before in 2006. Two full teams including pitcher, catcher and even Rover. We've not had the luxury of having an extra man in the outfield for ages. The weather was brilliant too, lovely hot sun partially obscured by a some clouds so that it was bright AND cool. No dehydration today. Considering it has been raining hard everyday at about 3 for the last week. It was a wonderful day for us to play our saturday game.

I've always talked about the baseball gods and the immense faith I have in them. I know it sounds sacrilegious of me or rather, heathenistic. But when it all boils down to it, Saturdaysoftball has really been tested hard this year, and we've pulled through. Frankly, I've seen my share of lean years when it looked like the game would be wrapped up. There have been many a time when it seemed that many people were leaving at the same time and the game would finally be called off and put to rest. Yet somehow, when one person leaves, a new person always come in to fill the gap. And this is how it has been for the last 10 years. The faces change, but the game remains the same. This year has ultimately been the worst year we've faced. The stream of people leaving and the constant loss of the field has really been difficult for even the most stalwart. We've lost so many regulars in such a short time that for a moment, I really believed that this wonderful saturday softball game would stop. Yet somehow... those remaining have 'kept the faith' and come out every saturday and it looks like the beautiful game is gaining back the momentum and numbers we've always enjoyed.

I'm very happy to welcome The Mick, Swiss Miss and New Kyle into the fold of new regulars. Hopefully we'll see Jason (I'll call him Jayfro, cos it's less racist') back regularly when he discovers that the singapore baseball league sucks and Saturdaysoftball is oodles better. DY is back for good, though with the responsibilities of being a soon-to-be father, I don't know how easy it'll be for him to make a break for the ballfield on saturdays. The best part is, we're now even multi-sport, engaging in the thrilling, pricision game that is bowling on saturdays after ball. Saturdaysoftball is no longer confined to the ball field and beer at Joes....

Since we're on the subject of short numbers. This rant is dedicated to the men and women who have served faithfully over the last 6 months when the numbers have been short, when the weather has been awful, and the frisbee and cricket idiots have conspired against us. And on that note, I'll write a brief summary of the fantastic and creative rules we've come up with to make up for the lack of manpower.

1. Joes - If numbers are less than 8, the game is called and we all go to Joes for pool.

2. Double or Nothing - Classic rule that has served us well during the traditional holidays when most of our expats leave for home. We usually play this rule when numbers are less than 10. The diamond is drawn shorter by about 5 feet. All fields are open and only two infielders are required. A batter is required to run to second base for a hit.

3. Right Field Dead - If numbers are more than 10 and less than 12. We shut down right field. The diamond is laid at standard distance. All infield positions are filled, but only a left-fielder and center-fielder are required. Any hit into right field counts as an automatic out for the batter.

4. Rubane in Da House - A variation of shutting down right field. Cones are laid to shut down center-field. All other rules are similar to 'Right Field Dead', except any hit within the cones results as an out for the batter.

5. Switch Rules - All batters must hit switch, Left Field is Dead. All other rules are similar to 'Right Field Dead'. Any hits into left field is an automatic out.

6. Prof Zen Rules - A variation of 'Double or Nothing', but in this case, bases are laid at standard distance, and the runner is safe on first. The runner must score from second. If the runner rounds third base, he cannot turn back, he is forced to go home. The out is made with a tag, regardless if its a forced play. If he has not yet stepped on third base, he can return to second base if there is no one occupying it.

7. Switch Rules with a touch of Prof Zen - If the numbers are less than 10, instead of playing 'Double or Nothing', we can opt to play this rule. All batters must hit switch, and score from second. Only three infielders are required, SS, 1st and 2nd, and two outfielders; Center and Rightfield.

8. Rubane Rules - If numbers are less than 12. Similar to 'Switch Rules with a touch of Prof Zen', however, batters hit normally. Left field is dead, but it is where the ball ends up not lands. A batter may hit into leftfield, and if the ball rolls into centerfield, the ball is alive and the game to proceed. Runners must score from second base. There can be three outfielders and three infielders.

9. Normal Rules - If numbers are more than 13, we play normal rules.

22 April 2006 - Old School

ONES: P: Indiana; C: Guppy; 1B: Jew-fro; 2B: Diana; 3B: Male Jo; SS: DT; OF: The Mick; Nigey-pooh; Heidi; Tissot
TWOS: P: Jason/Burma Girl; C: Horfun/Rickey; 1B: Rickey/Rube; 2B: Horfun/Geok/Jason/Horfun; 3B: The Generalissimo; SS: Sandman/Albert; OF: Albert/Sandman; Rube/Jason; Kyle II; Dieter

Game One:
ONES: 27
TWOS: 26

Game Two (3 Innings):
Ones: 6
Twos: 6

We played at the altnerative field, which was not too bad. It was not as bumpy as usual and the constant rains over the past few weeks have softened it up a bit. The key development was all of the people who came. We had a great old school game: Booming hits, plenty of errors, tight match-ups, sliding in the mud, and questions over who your favorite New Kid on the Block was.

The ONES took a huge lead in the 4th inning, scoring 10 or 11 runs. The number of errors the TWOS committed was probably 15 or 16. Very frustrating out in the field. The ONES had a 9-run lead, then the Rube started managing. He moved people around, and the TWOS gained some life. The slowly came back, a run or two per inning until they took a 4-run lead in the top of the ninth on a 5-run two-out rally. But, the ONES came back with a 5-run bottom of the ninth. Classic.

Rickey didn't see game two. He went to chicken burgers with Nigey-pooh. Apparently the hightlight was Horfun bringing the smackdown on Indiana at 2B.

NOTES: 1) Rickey gets unassisted DP. Heidi hits line drive to Rickey, who steps on 1B to get the sprinting Tissot; 2) Kyle II has got some skillz. Just needs to get the softball rhythm and he'll be a keeper; 3) Jason's gonna get some kisses. Every ball that Diana hit near him... well, she got on base; 4) The Generalissimo had a rough day at 3B; 5) Play of the day: Hitting the cut off man. Jew-fro pounds a ball to left-center. Its a homer (or even a triple for Rickey). Sandman gets the ball and throws it to Rube, who zips it in to the Generalissimo, who had to wait for Jew-fro. Amazing. Rube also gets credit for the effort, having injured himself on the play; 6) Indiana had more than 10 assists from the pitcher's mound. Solid fielding.

MBP: Rube
Play of the Day: Sandman-Rube-Generalissimo
Hit of the Day (failure): Jew-fro
Hit of the Day (success): The Mick, bending it around Nigey-pooh who was on 3B for triple
Gold Glove: Indiana
Drama Mama: Burma Girl catches the ball, which bounces out of her glove. Dieter grabs it for the out.

Plunk Biggio

Indiana sent over this newsweek article. The website the article is talking about is here

Take Me Out To the Metric; The steroid parenthesis in baseball history is
ending. Last year there were 434 fewer home runs than in 2004--and more
fans.; [U.S. Edition Edition]
George F. Will. Newsweek. New York: Apr 10, 2006. pg. 72

(Copyright (c) Newsweek, Incorporated - 2006. Reproduced with permission of copyright owner. Further
reproduction prohibited without permission.)

Michael Bourn needs to get out more. A database programmer in Nashua, N.H., he created the Web site
plunkbiggio.blogspot.com that tells everything-- really, everything-- about the 273 times that Craig Biggio of the Astros has been hit by a pitch, the modern major-league record.

On average, Biggio's plunks have occurred 493 feet above sea level, up 36 feet after two plunkings last year in
Denver. The shortest pitcher to hit him? Byung-Hyun Kim (5 feet 9 inches). The average age and weight of the plunking pitchers are 28.5 and 200.22. He has been hit most often by pitchers whose astrological sign is Sagittarius, but more Leos have hit him. He has been hit 15 times while Tiger Woods was on Sports Illustrated's cover. In 1997, the Dow rose an average of 28.63 on trading days after Biggio was hit. And on, and on.

Why does Bourn do this? "It is better than following Ruben Sierra's approach to the sacrifice-fly record." (Sierra is nine short of Eddie Murray's 128. Feel the excitement.) An obsessive-compulsive fascination with numbers is an occupational hazard of baseball fans. Baseball, unlike games of flow such as hockey, soccer and basketball, is a series of episodes that encourage quantification. This week, baseball resumes its prodigious production of numbers in another season of 2,430 games with 21,870 innings and approximately 700,000 pitches during 166,000 at-bats. The rage to quantify--to reduce reality to measurable units--is an impulse in modern societies. In baseball, it produces illuminating metrics. For example:

The objective is to win, which means scoring runs while efficiently getting the other team to make 27 outs. Every three outs, you must start over. Until recently, most people assumed that the key to runs was hits. Hence a misplaced emphasis on batting averages. But counting all hits alike is as foolish as counting different
denominations of currency as identical. Nowadays, more emphasis is placed on not making outs. Hence the
importance of on-base percentage, which is (hits + walks + hits by pitch)/(at bats + walks + hits by pitch + sacrifice flies). That led to the statistic OPS, which is on-base percentage + slugging percentage (which is total bases/atbats).

But Bill James, a pioneer of novel metrics (see "The Mind of Bill James" by Scott Gray), says OPS takes the
elements of run creation and puts them together incorrectly. "They shouldn't be added together, they should be multiplied. A team with a .400 on-base percentage and a .400 slugging percentage would score more runs than a team with .350 and .450, although both add up to .800 OPS." James suggests calculating "runs created": (hits + walks - caught stealing) x (total bases + .7 steals) / (at bats + walks - caught stealing).

Yikes. One reason we were so glad to get out of school was to get away from math homework. For fans more fond of John Kruk's mind than Isaac Newton's, here are some more accessible numbers, pertaining to baseball's health as life resumes this week:

Competitive balance is getting better: Baseball has had six different World Series winners in the past six years. The NFL has not had six different winners of Super Bowls since 1968-73. One moral of this story is that the Yankees, with their $202 million payroll, have learned the declining marginal utility of the last $80 million.

Major-league baseball's long history is divided into just two eras--dead ball and, beginning about 1920, the lively ball. But the latter contained a steroid parenthesis. It is closing because baseball now has the severest steroid penalties in professional sports. Last year there were 434 fewer home runs than in 2004--and the game became more interesting. Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci reports:

"Baseball captivates us so deeply that the anticipation of action is as compelling as action itself. The 20 seconds between pitches with the bases loaded, two outs, down a run in the eighth are Agatha Christie chapters unto themselves. With the powerball version of the game subsiding, fans are getting more of these worth-the-price-ofadmission moments. For instance, 47.9 percent of games last season were decided by one or two runs, up 9 percent from the slugfest apex in 2001 and the highest such percentage since 1993."

During the slugfest era it was said, "Chicks dig the long ball." Maybe. But as home runs fly away less frequently, ballpark turnstiles spin faster. Last year baseball set an attendance record that it will break this year. Already, five teams--Angels, Cardinals, Cubs, Yankees, Red Sox--have essentially sold out their seasons. On Feb. 24 the Cubs, who are in the 98th year of their rebuilding effort (they last won the World Series in 1908), put single-game tickets on sale. They set a major-league record, selling more than 597,000 tickets that day, just 38,000 fewer than they sold in the entire 1966 season.

This season will include more plunkings of Biggio, who is one of 1,563 players whose names begin with B who
have been hit 8,601 times in 1,380,366 plate appearances. You can look it up. But if you do, you need to get out more.

DT Rants

DY is back, and so is Indiana and Geok. With the faithful turnout of old regulars and new regulars, we should be able to get some more good old-fashioned saturday softball going. Our next target is to try and show up before 2.30 and start before 2.45. But one thing at a time, one day at a time. We've almost recovered from the very bad spell when we lost so many regulars. It's been more than 6 months since we've had a string of complete, fully-manned games. And while it's been really fun coming up with creative rules to make up for our shortfall, it's even more fun when we can field two complete teams. Hazah!

Yesterday's game was awesome. We managed to fend off the storm clouds for 7 full innnings, and it was well worth the effort. In the end, the sky got too dark, and with lightning threatening, we had to call it a day. Numbers were good, with a fully staffed infield and outfield. On paper, the TWOs definitely looked like they had the stronger team, with power hitting and strong defense, but the ONEs refused to be cowed, and they put up a strong opposition. If the game had continued to its full 9 innings, the ONEs might even have won. As it is, the ONEs held the TWOs to only a one run victory. It was the singular play at 3rd that turned the game around for the ONEs. The Mick smacked an extra-bases fly-ball deep into centerfield. Rube may a brilliant play to stop the ball and a perfect throw to 3rd base. Bertrand got the ball with seconds to spare, but as a relative newcomer to the game, he thought that stepping on the base for a forced-play was enough to get the Mick out. Too late, he realised his mistake and put his glove down for the tag, but the Mick had already slid into the base and was called safe. It was a 50-50 call, but the tie goes to the runner. That sparked a resurgance for the ONEs, who came around to score 5 runs even with two outs against them. The TWOs did manage to claw their way back, but were unable to take the win with two innings short.

My Play of the Day, was Diana catching the Mick's opposite field line-drive. He turned on the ball pretty hard and it would have given him extra-bases. The ball was still rising when Diana jumped up and plucked it out of the air. Fine Play. The other Play of the Day, was Mrs Rube giving Bertrand a taste of Singaporean Women. She led him all the way, strung him along like a little puppy, teasing and toying, and just when he thought he was going to get a strike, she put down the barrier and bounced his ball back to sender.

And Now for Something Completely Different.

Who knew, Bertrand has got some mad bowling skills. Though, it must be said he bowls as if the pins did something to piss him off. Basically, the pins were his enemy and he wanted to destroy them. On Another note, The Generalissimo went bowling for the first time in his life (We believe him because he is our friend), and on his debut, he easily broke 100, and if not for some last minute catch-up by the Sandman, would've shamed us all by winning the first game. The Doctors were in da house.

The Generalissimo showing his Form...First Frame, second roll...

The Final Score of the first game. A is for The Generalissimo, and T is for the Sandman.
Yes, I'm C, I started the game with a strike and choked it all away. B is for Bertrand, and
if you look at frame 5, you'll see Mrs Rube's handiwork.

Interesting thing occured during the first game. Heidi somehow managed
to roll this. And Rickey offered to pay for her holiday to South Africa if she
could pick up the spare. Scroll down to find out more.

The pressure was on, and a Free holiday on the cards. Heidi composed herself
picks up the ball and steps to the lane. All she needs to do is hook the ball towards
the center pin, let the ball carry to bring down the left pin, and the center pin to
spin and take down the right one. Easy Peasy. Look at this shot. The ball is on target.
It's gonna to do what it takes, and Heidi is going to win herself a free holiday... Scroll Down

There are no more photos. She misses. The Ball hooked wildy to the left into the drain.

15 April 2005 - Good Old School Ball

ONES: 1B: Guppy; 2B: Diana; SS: DT; 3B: Bertrand; LF: Heidi; CF: Rube; RF: Jason
TWOS: 1B: Rickey; 2B: Horfun; SS: Sandman; 3B: The Generalissimo; LF: The Mick; CF: The Say Hey Kid; RF: Seven

ONES: 10
TWOS: 11

This was a great game. The field was "moist", not wet. There was no standing water, but if you hit a ball it wouldn't roll far. So, there were no huge homers, since our homers come from hitting it to the gap and running. It was a see-saw game, but the TWOS finally took control in the 6th with a 5-run inning, and then held off a furious charge by the ONES. The game only lasted 7 innings, due to really, really dark clouds threatening. All played well, with solid hits and fielding. No one stood out above the rest for the awards, but those who received them deserved them.

Afterwards, at Joe's, there were some good pool games going on. But, more importantly, there was a bowling night. We had 9 at the lanes. In the first game all struggled, but the Venezualan Jaguar (who claims he has never bowled before) rolled a 105 (hey, I said we struggled) to tie with the Sandman. In the second game, Rickey got off to an unbelievable blistering start, and tried to choke it away. He finished with a 124, and the win though. Sandman was the most consistent, coming in 2nd in this match to win the overall keggler title for the night.

MBP: The Mick
Best Bat: Jason
Gold Glove: Rube and the Say Hey Kid (tie) - Many balls were hit to centerfield and they handled them well
DY/Drama Mama: The Mick makes a nice diving catch into foul territory
Bonehead Play of the Day: Jonesy and the bowling re-set button

10 rules for dating my daughter by Jack Yeost

original site here
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.


Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.


Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of the date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.


Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without using a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.


Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."


Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with one of my little girls, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. You might have heard about her other two sisters, but you will not look. If you make her cry, I make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?


Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are sofas, beds, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and my old Army Field Jacket - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature power tools are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.


Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a middle-aged, gray-headed, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a half acre behind the house. Do not trifle with me.


Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to drift back a few years to my Army days and mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a hostile vehicle. Whenever I hear engines at night, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the weapons, probably as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Announce the perimeter password, relay in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.


Have a nice time!



Jack Yoest, United States Army, July, 1974

The final inning of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series

Someone took the time to recreate the final inning of game 6 of the 1986 world series between the Mets and the Red Sox on Nintendo RBI Baseball. Using the ORIGINAL audio. This is well worth the watch. They got Buckner recreated perfectly. Click "The Game" below for the video. It's only 8 minutes long and it will make your day.

The Game

If you don't know what happened, the following is extracted courtesy of Wikipedia

Game 6, October 25

In Game 6 [1], at Shea Stadium in Flushing Meadows, Boston took a quick 2-0 lead on RBI base hits from Dwight Evans and Marty Barrett. The Mets tied the score in the fifth inning on a single from Ray Knight and a run-scoring double play by Danny Heep. An error by Knight led to Barrett scoring in the 7th to give Boston a 3-2 lead and it looked like Knight may be the goat of the World Series but the Mets rallied again, tying the game on a Gary Carter sacrifice fly in the 8th which forced extra innings.

In the top of the 10th inning, Dave Henderson homered to pull the Sox within three outs of a world championship, and Barrett singled in Wade Boggs to make it a 5-3 lead. When Wally Backman and Keith Hernandez were retired to start the bottom of the 10th, the championship seemed at hand.

Then, Carter singled to left. Pinch hitter Kevin Mitchell singled to center and Shea Stadium started to get loud. Knight went down in the count 0-2 bringing the Mets to their last strike but he hit the next pitch into centerfield for a single that scored Carter and advanced Mitchell to third base, making the score 5-4 and bringing Shea back to life. The Red Sox replaced pitcher Calvin Schiraldi with Bob Stanley to face left fielder Mookie Wilson. Wilson got the count to 2-1 but fouled the fourth pitch away to bring the Mets to their last strike again. He stayed alive fouling off two more Stanley pitches. Then, the seventh pitch sailed towards Wilson's knees sending him to the ground but the ball hit nothing and went straight to the backstop. Mitchell scored uncontested to tie the game and Shea Stadium erupted while Knight advanced to second base. The Red Sox were shocked to have blown the lead with the game all but over, much as they had done to the Angels in the ALCS almost two weeks prior.

When things calmed down, Wilson was still at the plate and fouled off two more pitches in a fantastic at bat. Finally, on the tenth pitch, Wilson hit a slow rolling ground ball up the first base line that appeared to be easy to field. The most pressing question in the few seconds was whether the lumbering Bill Buckner, with his chronic bad ankles and knees, would be able to beat the speedy Wilson to first base to finish the inning. The question would never be answered as the ball somehow snuck between his glove and leg and rolled slowly into right field. Shea Stadium exploded and the Mets' players and fans looked as though they couldn't contain themselves. Knight tried to hold his helmet on while jumping towards home plate with the winning run in a scene that many Mets fans would never forget. Buckner and the stunned Red Sox slowly walked off the field.

8 April 2006 - Slippery when Wet

ONES: 1st: Rube, 2nd: Horfun/Alvin, 3rd: Jason, SS: DT, LF: Heidi, CF: Melson, RF: Ironman
TWOS: 1st: Rube/Seven, 2nd: Diana, 3rd: Bertrand, SS: Generalissimo, LF: The Mick, CF: Gilbert, RF: Alvin/Fei

Game 1: ONES 25 : TWOS 20
Game 2: ONES 02 : TWOS 08

Jason joined 3rd inning
Seven joined 5th inning
Fei joined 7th inning

It had rained all week and the field was a little damp. The skies were black and the rumblings of thunder could be heard up in the stratosphere. The numbers looked forlorn, with only 8 on the field at 3pm. At least we managed to oust the field from the frisbee players by staking our claim early. I don't get it, the entire field is empty, yet they choose to play in our left field. Do they need to get hit on the head by a hard flyball before they learn? I digress. The day looked awful, and it looked like we were on the verge of heresy when Gilbert, Ironman, Melson and Alvin arrived to save the day. Let the worship begin.

With 12 stalwarts, we decided on Rube Rules. Cones were laid and left field was closed down. Prof Zen rules in effect, and runners had to score from 2nd base. This week though, Rube did not rule. With the Mick in rightfield, Rube was held to doubles. In fact, the score was only tied at 2 a piece in the third inning when Jason joined us. Jason was recruited by the TWOS, and Rube volunteered to play 1st all time. All fields were opened, all bases live and the game was on. You might have thought that the TWOs were handicapped by losing Rube, but Melson was hitting for power, hitting two home runs and scoring twice as many runners. Jason blasted a solo-HR as well (proving that he can only hit homeruns when Diana is around), and just to prove that he's the man of the house, Jason hit a scorching opposite field liner directly at Diana's head. She almost made the play, but the hard hit ball deflected out of her glove at the last minute (We reckon Jason wasn't gonna get much love that night).

With a 10-7 lead by the ONES, Rube gets pulled back into the TWOs when Dom arrives in the 5th inning. Replacing Rube at 1st base, Dom made quite a performance for himself, making good grabs and hitting for clutch. With Rube back on the team, the TWOs blasted away to a massive 17-10 lead within the next two innings. But victory was still far from their grasps as the ONEs clawed their way back with strong bats from the Mick, Gilbert and the Generalissimo. Fei showed up in the 7th inning, and fresh from the confines of the public bus service, he steps up and smacks a 3 run HR on his first pitch. With Fei leading the way for the ONEs(He was traded for Alvin, who replaced Horfun at 2nd base), the ONEs took on a stellar lead of 25-19 going into the top of the ninth. Even with Rube, Heidi and Ironman at bat, the TWOs could not get the 6 runs to tie the game, and fell to a 25-20 loss.

The Second game started with the TWOs baying for blood. Eager to avenge their eariler loss, the TWOs struck first to take an early lead. The ONEs had no answer to the ravage onslaught, and with a demoralising strike out by Fei, they soon succumbed to a 8-2 loss in 3 innings.

MBP: Rube
Biggest Bat: 3 way tie --> Rube & Melson & Fei
Best Hit: 2 way tie --> Rube hitting right into a bunch of frisbee idiots & Fei's walk-on-first-pitch Homerun
Gold Glove: 2 way tie --> Bertrand & Jason, both showing lovely leather at 3rd base
Play of the Day: DT to Jason 6-5 DP to get Diana and Fei out.
DY award: 2 way tie --> The Generalissimo for striking out Fei & Heidi tagging DT at home (DT needs to wear a cup if he wants to run home with Heidi catching)


DT RANTS
This was the best game of the year.... so far. The conditions were superb. The ground was damp and slippery, but not muddy. The sun did not come out, and the weather was cool without the usual humidity. Everyone was hustling, lots of close plays at first and home. Tag outs, double plays, headfirst slides... etc. Both team brought out the big bats today, and we didn't even use the small ball. The hard yellow ball we used was permanently retired because it was totally destroyed by the end of the game. Glovework by both teams were immaculate and errors could be numbered on only one hand. Almost everyone made at least one slide at a base, and even those that did not still sacrificed their body to make a catch or a play. It was a game I've been dreaming about since the dismal outings we've had this year. The rains did threaten to come. The sky was dark for the longest time and I suspect that if we did not field enough players, it would have been a downpour. The baseball gods looked down on us and they were pleased with what they saw because they held up the clouds. Thunder sounded to keep us on our toes, but nary a drop fell from the sky. And we had one full nine inning game and a second three inning game to pay proper worship. Both games had their share of drama, leads changed hands from inning to inning and everyone left the field of glory carrying with them their pride and some of the beautiful dirt of the holy diamond.

DT Rants

After last week's stellar congregation, the baseball gods beamed down their pleasure on us, blessing us with a perfect field and perfect weather. It had rained on Friday afternoon, moistening the ground and giving the grass a lush green texture. Because of the harsh sun over the last few days, the field did not turn soggy after the downpour, there was a lovely bounce to the earth and every step had a spring to it.

Sadly, with the temporary departure of Marvelous, and the sickly absence of Diana, our numbers came up short. We only had 12. Normally, with 12, we would shut down one field (usually right), and play with 4 infielders and 2 outfielders. Recently, we've even used cones to shut down centerfield, leaving left and right open (also known as Rubane rules) However, since our creative juices have been sparked over the last few months. We decided on some role reversal. We shut down left field instead, and played a 3 infield (SS, 2nd 1st), 3 outfield formation. We also implemented Prof Zen rules, meaning one had to score from 2nd base, and once the runner had stepped on 3rd base, he was committed to going home.

Shutting down left field will now be called "Rube Rules", for two reasons. 1. This rules totally suits his hitting style. He completely dominated the game hitting deep into right/centerfield with back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back (thats 5) home runs. And 2. Because when we play this game, Rube rules. As Rickey mentioned in the last post, Rube scored 12RBIs in the first game and 3RBIs in the second. Considering the final score, the games should have been much closer without Rube's dominance. The best (or worst part depending on the team you're on) was that no matter how deep the fielders stood, Rube managed to send the ball past them. It didn't matter how much hustle Jason and The Mick showed to get the ball and it didn't matter how quick the relay was turned. Rube made it over the plate to score, and advancing both runners ahead of him. We even tried to Kill the Rube to stop him from scoring. Jason smacked a hard liner up the middle towards Rube's chest, but somehow Rube caught it, protecting his own life, and making the out (It was exactly like the one he pulled last week). The ONEs had no chance. It was ONES vs The Rube, rather than ONEs vs TWOs. Even with the difficultly of scoring from second base, the TWOs scored 15 runs to mercy the first game.

There was a new guy on the field yesterday. Bertrand, a Frenchman who grew up in Switzerland (but from now on, we'll call him Swiss to avoid complications), recently arrived in Singapore for a 6 month internship at one of the NUS research faculties. He's a friend of Fabien's so his soul has been promised to SAS even before he touched down at the airport. It helps that he played a year of baseball in the US when he did an exchange programme. He has a solid swing, a good arm and glove. He did strike out 3 times, but that was because his bat was too quick for the ball. He's going to be a power hitter once he acclimates to our slowpitch speeds rather than the hardball's 80mph delivery.

I haven't ranted about myself for a while, and I must say, I had one of the worst defensive games of my life...for my team, and one of the better games, for the other team. Frackazoids. I fielded every ball for the other team when I pitched for them, but missed everyone when I was on my own. Frack!

After ball at Joes, amongst the strings of karaoke, a discussion of bowling came into play. I'm not sure what happened, but a gauntlet was thrown down from the Mick to the Rick. Rickey claimed a game average of 147, the Mick challenged him to a duel. Though we've threatened to go bowling after softball for years now, it has never come to fruition. For the first time in history, the bowling gods got a piece of the softball gods' action. 6 of us piled into my car to throw another kind of ball. Rube, Rickey, Seven, the Mick, H and I popped down to the brand-sparkling new lanes at the SAFRA at henderson road (built over the location of our former alternate, alternate field) for a showdown of epic proportions between the Mick and Rickey. Just like the ONEs vs Rube, Rickey had no chance against the Mick. He didn't have any fancy hook shots, or curve spins down the lane, but he had power and accuracy, nailing the ball down the center with laser precision. He had more strikes than Rube had HRs. The first game was a fight for second place, but no one could even break a 100 nor could anyone sniff the Mick's score.

The second game on the other hand was much closer. The Mick did not run away with the win this time. Seven, to the suprise of all attending, showed some decent bowling skills too. He fought the Mick tooth and nail for the lead throughout all 10 frames, and it came down to the wire in the last frame. The Mick had 115, and Seven had 105 with his last frame to bowl. His first ball only managed to drop 1 pin, and there was a huge gagging cry from the crowd when everyone put their hands on their necks and yelled "choooooke". Somehow, Seven pulled some magic dust from his pocket and spared the next ball, tying the game with the Mick. All he needed was 1 pin to fall for him to win. To the loud cries of "choke, choke, choke,", Seven rolled his last ball, taking down 5 for a 125 total and the win. The others weren't that far behind either. I rolled a 108, and Rickey a 105. Rube and H had high 90s. Great Game

Sadly, we had to stop our fun after the second game as Rube, the Mick, H and Seven had a date with a microphone at a Karaoke bar. But that's something completely different...

Some Post Softball Pictures

Rickey in Action

Rube trying to pick up a split


And NOW, for Something Completely Different

As far as we know, Rube only gives lap dances when you buy him a drink.

Insert your own Brokeback jokes

Do the hustle....ahhh. do the hustle

1 April 2006 - Rube en Fuego

ONES: 1B: Guppy; 2B: Burma Girl/DT; SS: DT/Burma Girl; OF: The Mick (Patrick); Jason; John
TWOS: 1B: Rube; 2B: The Venezualan Jaguar; SS: Rickey; OF: Heidi; Grandpa; Bertrand

Game One (4 inning mercy):
ONES: 4
TWOS; 15

Game Two (5 Innings):
ONES: 0
TWOS: 5

We played on the regular field with Prof. Zen rules. Left field was dead, and runners had to score from 2B. The game was completely, utterly, absolutely dominated by Rube. In Game One, he hit 5 (that's right "five") home runs, and had 12 RBIs. It was so bad that Heidi, who was always on base, was begging off batting in front of him because he was hitting so many homers. The Mick and DT both were high blood pressure candidates during this period. The rest of the TWOS did very little; they just rode Rube to victory. In game two, if you subtract a three-run home run by Rube, the final score would have been 2-0.

NOTES:
1) It good to have the Burma Girl and John back. Also good to get the new blood Bertrand. He shows skills, and once he settles in will be a fine addition; 2) Heidi made a great Willie Mays catch in the outfield off a boomer from the Mick; 3) The Jaguar made a great infield play. Going to his right to get the grounder, he snags it and in mid-air turns his body for a throw to first; 4) DT made a number of great defensive plays when he was pitching; 5) Six people went bowling after the game. The Mick and Seven dominated on the lanes, but Smokey stepped over the line. Mark it down a "0".

MBP: Rube
Biggest Bat: Rube
Best Bat: Rube
Play of the Day (infield): The Venezualan Jaguar
Play of the Day (outfield): Heidi
DY: DT
And for those who went bowling... Out of his element: Donny

When you can't win, fight

Welcome to the redsoxnation

Click the link below to watch the frame by frame that a photographer took of the fight.
Punch

DT Rants

When I talk about the baseball gods, some of you might take me for an evangelical idiot, preaching about my heathen gods, but if you have doubts that the baseball gods exist after yesterday's game, then there's nothing I can do to save your soul.

Yes, we lost the field to cricketeers. Yes, we were forced to play in the alternate field that was riddled with bumps and potholes, the earth cracked in places because it was soiled in clay. Rocks and debris strewn along the base paths. Yes, it looked like we were badly short of numbers. We were tested, but we showed our mettle. The clouds loomed overhead and threatened to open a downpour of herculean proportions, but we stayed. And the baseball gods looked down on us, saw the mighty 15, proudly worshipping the holy game, and they were pleased. The chorus of the faithful resonated to the heavens. In return, they blew away the storm, and they hid the sun behind the clouds, leaving us with clear weather. I have never seen the like. One moment, it looked like a thunderstorm, the next, the winds changed and the clouds were swept away. In return, they made the ball bounced, hopped, skipped, jumped, fooling infielders and outfielders alike. In return, they gave the meek strength, big bats and basehits. They taught the strong humility and showed irony to the skilled. In return, they let both teams win with mercy scores. The baseball gods had no favourites this day, blessing both sides with brilliant plays, bonehead errors and monsterous hits. It was a wonderful game. It IS a wonderful game.

Jason had a career day, pounding out two homeruns, numerous basehits and making good stops at third. He is the man to watch out for in the near future, and while he is still a good ultility man to put in any defensive position, he needs to find a place to call his own. His fiance (We just found out) Diana, has carved her niche at second base. She's got a good glove and arm, and as she proved yesterday, a hell of a bat. She was batting in the high 800s in the first game and got on base 5 out of 6 times. All she has left to do is to stop Rube's opposite-infield-homerun. Not one to settle for second place, Horfun turned around and showed her bat in the second game, taking a leaf out of Diana's book. Horfun's may be improving slowly, but she's doing it at her own pace, and slow and steady does win the race. She has amazing reflexes behind the plate, catching foul tips with aplomb. All she needs now is more power in her throw and we'll soon have a celebrity deathmatch at second base.

Rube and Gilbert proved that hustle is all you need to score runs. Rube, scoring a homerun off an opposite-field-infield-grounder. Gilbert was outstanding, he led the TWOs to a mercy win in the first game, and then, when he got traded, he led the ONEs to a mercy win in the second. He is our own version of Ichiro, taking extra bases on singles, and scoring at home on doubles. He runs down every ball in the outfield, and he never lets up. It's too bad we don't see him very often. His work ethic is amazing. Seven aka Scooterboy proved again, that he swings the other way. He batted 5 for 5 on the left side of the plate, and 0-3 on the right. He's not a switch hitter. He's a lefty. Come out of the closet Dom.
There was a face-off in the TWOs outfield, with Marvelous and P-Daddy dueling each other for the tinglove. In the end, Ironman ran away with the award for the ONEs. Most of it was not his fault though, the ground played havoc with the bounce, and many a easy one-hopper was deflected or veered away from his glove at the last minute. All the outfielders were tormented by the ground. Most of the time, they had one eye on the ground watching for potholes that would sprain ankles, and the other eye on the ball, and the third eye on the bounce. Needless to say, a double into the outfield usually meant a homerun for the batter. The infield was equally plagues by bad hops, but not as much. In fact, the best fielding position was the pitcher's as he didn't have to deal with an erratic bounce.

The kill-Rickey award goes to Gilbert and Rube. Gilbert hit a linedrive right up the middle, towards the pitcher's chest. That hit would have blown a hole in anyone's body. If it had been Rickey at the mound, he might have died. As it were, Rube made one of the best reflex catches I have ever seen. He seemed to have plucked the ball out of the air nanoseconds before it made contact with his body. It looked almost like Darth Vader's deflection of Han Solo's blaster shot on Baspin city. The ball was struck so well by Gilbert that the ping of contact and the thump in Rube's glove was almost instantaneous.

Overall mercy wins for both teams meant that the teams were quite even. The only difference was Gilbert playing for the winning team in the first game, then being traded to the winning team in the second game. The TWOs also lost Guppy in the second game. Mostly, the ground was the deciding factor for both games. The ball bounces both ways and for the first game, the ball bounced for the TWOs, and it turned around and bounced for the ONEs in the second game.

Road Trip

Look at this picture. This is the beach on Bohol, Philippines. Doesn't it look simply lovely. On Bohol, San Miguel beer costs about $0.50 on the street, and $0.85 at a bar or restaurant. For $50 a day, one can live and eat like a King (or Queen). Street vendors sell freshly barbequed pork and chicken, marinated in a succulent gravy of fresh herbs and spices. Freshly caught seafood is in abundance, costing a fraction of what we'd pay for in Singapore.

Barbequed Chicken

Lechon

Meat on Sticks

ALOT more meat on sticks

Seafood Buffet

Point, Grill and Eat

All you need is Beer

25 March 2006 - JEFFY likes to eat apples

ONES: 1B: Rube; 2B: Horfun; 3B: Jason; SS: DT; LF: Heidi; CF: Iron Man/Gil the Gazelle; RF: Seven
TWOS: C: Guppy; 1B: Rickey; 2B: Diana; 3B: The Generalissimo; SS: Clement; LF: P-Daddy; CF: Gil the Gazelle/Iron Man; RF: Marv-elous

Game One (4 Innings, mercy)
ONES: 11
TWOS: 26

Game Two (3 Innings, mercy)
ONES: 17
TWOS: 5

There was a formal cricket match on the field, so we went to the alternative one (opposite Rube's place). On that rough ground - the land of insane bounces - we had our first real game of the year. Thanks to the Montfort alumni, we had 15 players and didn't have to shut down a field. As the scores reflect, it was fairly ridiculous. Any ball to the outfield had the opportunity to skim, bounce, go left, go right, smack Marv-elous in the face, etc. It got ugly in both games, but in the karmic nature of Saturday softball, both teams got a chance to suffer and a chance to make it look easy. But, the real news was the joy of being able to play with a full field.

NOTES:
1) Diana was on fire in game one (5-6) and Horfun was on fire in game two. They made the difference when their teams were batting, playing the key role in mercy-ing the other teams; 2) P-Daddy (Patrick) better learn to keep his trap shut. When he started yelling at Marv-elous about a blown outfield play, he gets it worst. Karma, baby; 3) Gil was his usual speedy self; 4) DT made some great DY-style plays while pitching against his own team. He also fought off a ball against the shins (as did Horfun too) to throw out a runner at 1B, but perhaps the weirdest one was an easy grounder from Rickey that bounced over his head; 5) Rube had another infield homer; 6) Blood pressure check: Rube, DT and Heidi all looked like they were would burst a blood vessel in their heads in game one when the twos scored 12 or 13 in one inning. 7) Hey, Iron Man.. wake up. Gil caught you sleeping with a patented Venezualan Jaguar move (and the Jaguar also almost burst a blood vessel on that one too); 8) Seven continues to bat well from the left; 9) Jason got his usual quota of homeruns.

MBP: Gil the Gazelle
Gold Glove: Clement
Best Bat: Diana/Horfun
Biggest Bat: Rube
DY: DT
Drama Mama: Rube (catching a line drive at his chest while pitching)
Bonehead: Iron Man

Japan are the TRUE World Champions

Japan won the WBC by beating Cuba 10-6 in a very exciting game. I'd love to be able to watch it.
You can find a lot of coverage here.

SI winners and losers
SI New World Order
SI Good Show
SI Top of the World
NYtimes


My favourite line comes from the NYtimes article. The last paragraph to be exact.
"Despite having only two major leaguers, Japan won the tournament. Despite having no major leaguers, Cuba finished second. The United States feels it has the best players in the world. In this tournament, that was untrue. Japan, as the flying flags showed, was the class of this classic."

Brokeshin Mound

When one Man

With a Large Stick

Swings the Other Way

Words will be Spoken

Issues will arise

There are no secrets between them

DT Rants

Beautiful sunny, lovely empty field, short numbers. That's the new war cry of saturday softball. But as usual, the few, the strong and the brave will prevail. And with Gretzky, Diana and Rube volunteering to play all time defensively, we managed to put together a good game. With three out of nine players taking the field, it left each team with only 3 batters, so ProfZen rules (so named in memory of Prof Zen who invented it) and Rube rules were in effect, we played reverse double of nothing. Horfun did a great job recruiting by getting her vietnamese language classmate from Canada to show up. And Stephen brought his fellow exchange student Stephanie as well. They both contributed significantly to the game and we really hope they show up again. Sadly, they will only be here till May, but they were here since Sept. I guess it takes Horfun a couple of months to get her courage to ask a guy out ;).
When I say they contributed to the game, we have to mention Stephen allowing Rickey a homerun (bad leg and extra slow baserunning considered). Rickey hit a deep fly ball past Stephen and somehow, managed to limp all the way home. To make up for the humiliation of the new guy, Stephanie extracted her revenge on Rickey by hitting a shallow pop fly just over his head at 3rd base. It was perfectly weighted and perfected struck to reach a trajectory just out of his glove.
Gretzky and The Generalissimo had the biggest bats all day. They were beating the stuffing out of the ball, and going deep and into the empty spaces. I swear Heidi was going have an aneurysm our there in LF. I could hear that vein in her forehead throbbing from way over in the infield.
We switched around a little in the second game. Removed Rubane, and shut down RF instead. This worked out slightly better for the ONEs at first, but in the third inning, the TWOs big bats were simple overpowering. The ONEs were shut down mercilessly.
Play of the game must go to that Indian-National-Foreign-Construction Worker. He pulled a liner high into the sky that never came down... literally. The ball got stuck in a tree, wedged perfectly between two branches. Everyone took turns to knock the ball down, and EVERYONE missed. A foreign construction worker finally came along, weighted the ball in his hand, and let it fly. His first throw, hitting the branch holding the ball, and it was released from its grasp to finally fall to the earth. How ashamed should we feel that this guy just steps up and makes an accurate throw, while we, who play every week, cannot make the same?

18 March 2005 - Just another day

ONES: C: Horfun; P: Dom; SS: DT; 3B: Horfun/Rickey/Heidi; OF: Heidi/Nigeypooh/Rickey
TWOS: C: Steph; SS: Venezualan Jaguar; 3B: New Guy (Stephen); OF: Patrick/Marvelous
All Time: 1B: Rube; 2B: Diana

Game One: (6 Innings)
ONES: 6
TWOS: 18

Game Two: (3 innings):
ONES: 0
TWOS: 6

It was a good old fashioned butt-kicking. The TWOS had the Jaguar, Patrick and Marvelous batting back-to-back and they were too much to handle. Add in the newbies, Stephanie and Stephen (what's with all the Chinese-Canadians?), who occassionally got on base, and the ONES were done. Played "Rube Rules".

NOTES:
1) Heidi was having trouble in the outfield. If she waited for the bounce, it skimmed along the ground; if she got down to take the grounder, it bounced over her head. Space in LF was huge too. Lots of running.; 2) Rickey played OF with no major snafus; 3) Props to Diana and Rube for playing all time in the field; 4) The Generalissimo was on fire yesterday; 5) Patrick was trying to be Smoov P with his new teammates; 6) Rickey hit a massive homer to right field, should have gone home after that; 7) All the guys on the ones hit at least 2 homers each.

MBP: The Venezualan Jaguar
Gold Glove: The Venezualan Jaguar
Drama Mama: Nigey-pooh (caught a foul ball barehanded)

Combating Obesity in America

Eat UNTIL you die.


15 pound burger
Restaurant overdoes it once again, with 15-pound burger

Wednesday, May 04, 2005
By Alana Semuels, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

CLEARFIELD, Pa. -- It foiled even the doughnut-eating champion of the world.

Andy Starnes, Post-Gazette

Dave "Coon Dog" O'Karma can eat 80 doughnuts in under six minutes, but even he couldn't manage a 15-pound cheeseburger.

Concocted by the chefs at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, the burger might help the pub defend its Guinness Book of World Records status as the restaurant with the world's biggest hamburger.

Denny's big burger lineup includes a 2-pounder, a 3-pounder and a 6-pounder.

If you can eat the 6-pounder in under three hours, you get the burger for free, along with a commemorative T-shirt and your names on a wall of fame. So far, the only winner has been a 100-pound female college student.

But owners thought a 15-pound burger would attract more customers and be a good option for families, parties and anyone who up for a challenge.

The challenge is simple. Just polish off the newest monster burger in under five hours and you win $350, a T-shirt and your name posted on the pub's wall of fame.

You also get the burger for free, which is not bad, considering it costs $39.95.

Fries are extra.

"Every restaurant needs a gimmick -- ours is big burgers," said Dennis Liegey III, son of the restaurant's owner, and its vice president.

Visitors have come from as far away as Australia and California just to see the 6-pounders and try to eat them. They sell about 30 a week.

The newest burger, dubbed the Beer Barrel Belly Buster, is as big around as the inside of a car tire and should be approached with relish.

A cup and a half, that is. It also comes with a cup and half each of mayonnaise, mustard and ketchup, a head of lettuce, two onions, three tomatoes and 25 slices of cheese, which go on 101/2 pounds of ground beef and a bun that is made by a local bakery.

The burger starts out, as burgers typically do, as a large slab of raw ground meat -- 280 ounces of extra lean beef shipped up from Pittsburgh. That's enough beef to make 70 McDonald's quarter pounders.

Kitchen manager Matthew Williams mixes in eggs and bread crumbs and other ingredients he won't disclose to hold the beef together, and then puts it into an auto sham -- basically a big broiler -- for 21/2 hours while the grease sizzles and jumps in the pan.

After it is good and cooked, he lifts the Jabba the Hut-like lump of meat with a pizza shovel to the grill to charbroil it. From there, the burger is lifted again to the condiments counter, where it receives its dressings, which weigh another 5 pounds.

"I'm a little sore," said Williams about the heavy lifting. "It's a workout." He made the first burger Friday night and has perfected the system to prevent the beef from crumbling.

The comment he most often hears about his giant burgers?

"Holy Cow!"

Professional eaters tried to team up to eat the first burger on Saturday, but were stymied by its sheer size.

Coon Dog, the doughnut champion from Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, brought a copy of "To Kill a Mockingbird" to the restaurant to distract him while he ate, but it was not enough.

"The only thing that got killed was my appetite," he said.

He's eaten doughnuts, wings and hot dogs faster than you can say Coon Dog, but couldn't even finish the burger with a partner.

In the next few days, the Belly Buster will appear on national television morning shows, in newspapers and on the Internet. It's great publicity for a small restaurant in a tiny town in mid-Pennsylvania, but not so great for anyone who dares to consume it.

"What's the point of having a hamburger that's 15 pounds?" said Madelyn Fernstrom, associate professor and director of the UPMC Weight Management Center. "It's ridiculous. There's nothing that is redeeming about it."

The caloric value of a burger this size means that it should be consumed by about 30 to 40 people, she said. Healthy or not, if you grill it, they will come.

Retired schoolteachers Alice and John Kirn from Wappingers Falls, N.Y., stopped by the restaurant on their way to a family reunion in Minnesota to see the 6-pound burger. The couple have eaten ostrich, camel and crocodile in their journeys.

Just the sight of the burger, which they at first thought was plastic, made their drive worthwhile.

Gushed John Kirn, "It's one of the seven wonders of the new world."

What's better than a Cheeseburger AND a Doughnut?

A Cheeseburger MADE with a Doughnut


For all underweight, malnutritioned, skinny americans the world over. The Final CURE.

Gatewaygrizzlies
GRIZZLIES INTRODUCE NEW FOOD ITEM FOR '06


March 8, 2006 - The Gateway Grizzlies are proud to announce that they will be adding a new concession item to GMC Stadium for the 2006 season.

The Grizzlies and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts have teamed up to create "Baseball's Best Burger." The burger, which was introduced at Gateway's December 10th sale, consists of a thick and juicy burger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon. The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut.

The Grizzlies have added a unique concession item each of the least two seasons. In 2004 "Baseball's Best Hotdog" hit GMC Stadium. It consisted of a 1/5 pound Farmland 8 inch All Beef Black Angus Hot Dog, topped with two strips of freshly cooked bacon, 1 oz. Sautéed Onions, 1 oz. Sautéed Sauerkraut and ½ oz. Cheddar Cheese Sauce, all on a fresh baked bun. In 2005, the "Swiss Brat" was introduced. The "Swiss Brat" was made up of a Landshire Bratwurst with a slice of Swiss cheese in the middle of it. The cheese was then melted and 1oz. of Sautéed Sauerkraut was placed on top.

"We have had the opportunity to bring in a new concession item for the past two seasons and each of them have been very successful. We look forward to Baseball's Best Burger and the excitement it will bring to the ballpark," said Grizzlies General Manager Tony Funderburg.

"We are excited to work with the Grizzlies this season on Baseball's Best Burger," said Tina Bryan, Vice President of Marketing for Sweet Traditions, the local area developer for Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. "Our doughnuts have been used in such things as wedding cakes, bread pudding, fondue, and now a hamburger bun. What a fun and unique way to offer our signature Original Glazed doughnut to Grizzlies fans."

Casey At the Bat

Casey at the Bat
by Ernest Lawrence Thayer ©
Published: The Examiner (06-03-1888)

The Outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day:
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play.
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Casey could get but a whack at that -
We'd put up even money, now, with Casey at the bat.

But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a lulu and the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey's getting to the bat.

But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despis-ed, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Jimmy safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.

Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Casey's manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey's bearing and a smile on Casey's face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Casey at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey's eye, a sneer curled Casey's lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped-
"That ain't my style," said Casey. "Strike one," the umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Kill him! Kill the umpire!" shouted someone on the stand;
And its likely they'd a-killed him had not Casey raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Casey's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said, "Strike two."

"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn't let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Casey's lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville - mighty Casey has struck out.

"Phin"

The Reason for Rainbows

The Reason for Rainbows
A Song to Baseball
by J. Patrick Lewis
Published: Baseball Almanac

There was an Old Man of Late Summer
Met a Winter Boy out of the blue,
And he whisked him away
From the city one day
Just to show him what country boys do.

He taught him three whys of a rooster,
And he showed him two hows of a hen.
Then he’d try to bewitch him
With curveballs he’d pitch him
Again and again and again.

He taught him the reason for rainbows,
And he showed him why lightning was king,
Then he fingered the last ball—
A wicked hop fastball—
He threw to the plate on a string.

Oh, the Old Summer Man and the Young Winter Lad
Spent the light of each day—every moment they had—
In the wind and the rain, or the late summer sun,
Where he taught him to pitch and he taught him to run
In the wind and rain and the late summer sun.

But when that Old Man of Late Summer
Met the Winter Boy out of the blue,
He said to him, “Son,
You can pitch, you can run,
But to hit here is what you must do:

Just pretend that the stick on your shoulder
Is as wide as a bald eagle’s wing.
You’re a bird on a wire
And your hands are on fire—
But you’re never too eager to swing.

Stand as still as a rabbit in danger,
Watch the pitch with the eyes of a cat.
What will fly past the mound—
Unforgettable sound—
Is the ball as it cracks off the bat.”

Oh, the Old Summer Man and the Young Winter Lad
Spent the light of each day—every moment they had—
In the wind and the rain, or the late summer sun,
Where he taught him to pitch and he taught him to run
In the wind and rain and the late summer sun.

Shortstop

SHORTSTOP
by Charles Ghigna ©
Published: Boyd Mills Press (2003)

The slits of his eyes
hidden in shadows
beneath the bill of his cap,
he watches and waits
like a patient cat
to catch what comes
his way.


Crack!
and he pounces
upon the ball,
his hands flying
above the grass,
flinging his prey
on its way
across the diamond
into a double-play.

A Swing and A Miss

A Swing And A Miss
by J. Patrick Lewis©
Published In: Light Quarterly (1954)

The fastball
that you hope to poke
is smoke

The curveball
that you thought was there
is air

The knuckler
wobbling up to you
can dipsy-do

The screwball
an ironic twist
hits your fist

The sinker
comes as a surprise:
it dies

The let-up pitch
you can't resist?
you missed

The spitball
that by law's forbidden
(is hidden)